Bands, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Homestuck, Night Vale.
They/them pronouns please
Icon credit to astrogyaru :)
He listens to Cecil’s show every night at work, muttering to himself about how he wouldn’t take such a precious gift like Cecil for granted, angrily kneading dough and stabbing at meat cuts, until his co-workers are like,
'Don't bake angry, Earl'
'I'm not baking angry.’
*punches a soufflé*
punches a souffle
i can’t get over how sad and funny it is when you see a teenage boy being real snotty about what he finds sexually attractive like oh no he doesn’t like bright lipstick and gladiator sandals make you look like a whore
like buddy sorry you are not some kind of sexual wine connoisseur you are sixteen and would probably fuck a grapefruit
woohoooooooo I’m shit how hard do you think it’ll be to get lethal pills or something tall and strong enough to hold my fat ass up
There is a blind man here tuning my piano and he keeps making blind jokes
quote “you know when people ring me up to ask if I can fix their piano I like to tell them i’m so good I can do it without looking”
Sometimes people ask why i became a piano tuner and i tell them its because they wouldnt let me become a pilot
What they say: “I was just joking.”
What they mean: “I was completely serious, but I hate being called out, so I’d rather pretend that you’re just too sensitive.”